Is Premarital Counselling worth the hype?

Have you ever wondered what the hype is about premarital counselling or why it is highly recommended that couples get premarital counselling before getting married? The answer is not far-fetched.

Premarital counselling allows the couple to engage and discuss important topics, understand each other’s stance and perspectives on certain subject matter, and most importantly to reach a compromise, an agreement or understanding of how they would engage in their own marriage.

Human beings are creatures of habit and the family you are born or raised in has a tremendously powerful impact on you. The way you see yourself and others and the way you interact with the world around you is shaped in the setting of your family of origin. That is why oftentimes you do the things your parents did though you have sworn not to do them. And if you ask your parents, you may come to understand that they also swore not to do what their parents did.

Intergenerational and multigenerational patterns of behaviour are real and supported by research. It is therefore not unusual to want to replicate what you see in your own family of origin. However, doing this may be a recipe for conflict in your future relationship if you are not careful, intentional and proactive.

Some of the topics discussed in premarital counselling:

  • Marriage
  • Expectations
  • Relationship pillars
  • Family of Origin Influence
  • Managing Life Transitions
  • Planning a family/Parenting
  • Spirituality
  • Finances
  • Conflict resolution
  • Forgiveness
  • Sex/Intimacy

If you desire a peaceful and happy marriage, you must be ready to do the work it entails! The onus is on you to be intentional about how you are building your marriage and what you are building your marriage with.


Richardson W. Ronald (2015) Family Ties That Bind: A self-help guide to change through Family of Origin therapy: 4th edition